Everyday for the past week has felt like Christmas Eve. On Tuesday I'll be taking my poker journey overseas to Seefled, Austria. I don't think I could be more excited for the tournament. Prior to leaving on Tuesday, I will be playing a bunch of small local live tournaments as a preparation.
My Mental State
I can't stop thinking about the tournament in Austria. For the past few days I have been feeling like I am going to do really well. The structure of this event is by far the best live tournament structure I have played with 50,000 starting stack and 60 minute blind levels. This structure favors my style so much. I really think this is going to be the tournament that is going to allow me more freedom with poker. I don't know why I am getting that feeling, but this just seems like my time.
The Doubt Creeps In
Although I feel like I am going to do really well, I have also been experiencing a lot of moments of doubts:
What if I punt off all my chips?
What if I get a bad table draw?
What if I run into a big cooler early?
What if the field is not as soft as I expect it to be?
What if I'm too jet lagged to play well?
What if I don't meet the expectations of my friends, family, and fellow poker players?
What if I brick all the local tournaments prior to leaving for Europe and am doubting my game?
All of these things have been running through my mind but I am trying to block them out. I don't know how to get rid of these fears, but I am going to have another coaching session tomorrow with CardRunners Pro John Gonzalez to hopefully help me overcome these negative thoughts and help me feel more prepared for the CAPT Main Event. I know most people would say "just enjoy the trip and don't think about the tournament" and I want to do that, but my overall goal for this trip is to win the main event and anything less will be a failure to me.
I look forward to sharing this adventure with anyone who cares about this trip and how I do. I'll be posting pictures, videos, and chip updates of the entire experience here and would love to have all your support.
I recently had my first coaching session which was incredibly helpful in finding some of my leaks. I want to make coaching a regular thing, if for nothing else to stay mentally focused during the downswings.
5th - BIG10 - $15,000 GTD for $1,398
3rd - BIG10 - $10,000 GTD for $1,398
3rd - BIG10 - $25,000 GTD for $2,518
In addition to these scores, I also won a package to the TKPT Main Event in St. Maarten on Intertops Poker. The event is $1,100 buyin with a 100K GTD. They're still running online satellites for this so you can still win your way to the Caribbean and join us in St Maarten!
I played the $225 Deepstack at Rivers Casino but I busted in level 5 in a spot where I should have pot controlled and not had all my chips in the middle.
Although poker has been good to me lately, I still feel like I am making really crucial mistakes. I have been unable to close out a tournament and have felt very spewy in spots.
My live schedule over the next few days leading up to Austria looks like this:
2/20 $200+$20+$5 Rivers Casino Deepstack
2/21 $80+$20 Three Rivers Poker Classic EVENT#1
2/21 $80+$20 Three Rivers Poker Classic EVENT#2
2/22 $170+$30 Three Rivers Poker Classic EVENT#3
2/22 $125+$25 Three Rivers Poker Classic EVENT#4
If you'll be playing any of these events, come say hi. I am hoping to gain some confidence playing these small tournaments before I leave.
Thank you for the support and stay positive.